Self Hatred
by Meepy
Summary: "And how would you know what it's like to love?" — Rio, Izaya


"Orihara Izaya."

Her voice echoed in the dark silence.

Said man turned around at the mention of his name, his fur-lined coat jumping as he did so. The night sky provided little lighting, save for a few stars. A moonless night. No, a new moon. Even so, he could recognize the figure of a familiar person. It had been months since Izaya had last seen her, but it only took a short moment for it to click in his head. A pleasantly surprised smile spread across his face.

"Ah, Miss Magenta!" he exclaimed. "Long time no see. So you were Puuchin?"

Miss Magenta—Kamichika Rio—stepped towards the informant, her pigtails bouncing behind her. She kept at least a few feet away from him. She shot the man a suspicious look. "And didn't you know?"

Izaya chuckled. "Well, I wasn't expecting anyone, especially one referring to themselves as Puuchin, to message me and demand for a meeting. You could say that I agreed because I was... 'curious.' Naturally, I ran down the list of possible people who could be this 'Puuchin.' You were one of them I believe, Miss Magenta. Now that I think about it, the way Puuchin typed was quite familiar; the style, choice of words, the undertone of desperation..."

Rio flinched. He smiled again before continuing, "So why were you so eager to get me to come here, Miss Magenta? And on this roof, of all places. Do you want to jump again? Maybe you just enjoy the view. Or maybe you have a strong fascination with that Headless Rider. She rode down this building during the Dollars meeting, did she not?"

"Why are you asking? You know," Rio replied. "Of course you know."

"But do you know, Miss Magenta?"

"I have a name!" she hissed.

"I'd be more interested if you didn't." He waved his hand. "But really now, we're getting off-topic. Why are we here, and what do you want?"

Rio opened her mouth to respond, but found that no words were coming out. She knew, but couldn't put it into words. She just had to confront him, to figure out that life changing moment. "Why?" she muttered eventually. "I still don't understand why..."

"Understand what?" He raised an eyebrow, amused.

"Why you played me on."

"Did I not tell you last time?" Izaya stepped towards the girl until they were close enough to touch. With his hands in his jacket pockets, he leaned forward, their cheeks grazing. He whispered into her ear, "I love humans, remember?"

A shiver shot down her spine. He quickly pulled away from her. "What more is there to explain?"

"That makes no sense!" Rio shouted. "How can you treat something you love so cruelly?"

Izaya let out a laugh, something that sounded almost like a bark. "And how would you know what it's like to love? As I recall, you despised your parents—"

"S-Shut up."

"—you had no friends—"

"Shut up."

"—and no one to lean on, but a certain someone named 'Nakura.'"

"Shut up!" she screeched. "I hate you!"

"Now how can you hate the person who saved your life?" Izaya frowned playfully.

"You didn't save my life!" Rio shouted. "The Headless Rider did!"

"Ah, but who was the one who led you out? Made you realize how silly overreacting about your dilemma was? Brought the Headless Rider out to the building, to save you? You look at me like I'm the villain, but really, I'm your knight in shining armour!" he explained, a smirk replacing his frown.

She averted her gaze to the ground.

"If you look down, I can't see your pretty eyes," Izaya murmured, placing his hand under her chin and raising her face. Rio winced; she hated that smirk, she hated the utter confidence she could see in his eyes. "Which reminds me, how did it all work out for you?" he asked, but continued on before she could respond, "I'm assuming nothing changed at home. You, however, have. You've forgiven your parents; learned to accept what has happened between them. You have opened up to actual people around you, but you can't help but wonder, Why are they still together? You've confronted your father yourself about his affairs. He claims to deeply regret it, and says that it has ended and will never happen again. But you don't trust his word—after all, he betrayed his vows. Your lack of understanding seems to outweigh your acceptance, Miss Magenta. Though you're more open, you still hide behind a shield."

Rio stumbled back, her eyes widening. How did he know? What did he mean?

"They're staying together because of you," he laughed. "They think you can't stand on your own two feet without the both of them, and isn't that true? In their eyes, you'll fall apart as soon as the divorce papers are filed."

No. No. This wasn't how this was supposed to go. It was supposed to be different from the last time. Why was it so much the same? She had the advantage of catching him off guard this time, but yet here he was, manipulating her again, making her stomach clench, twisting everything and anything. How could he read her so easily? How could he understand? How could he know? How could he just—_break_—_her_—_down_?

"Now, if this was everything, I really must get going. I have important things to do." And with that, Izaya swiftly walked past her towards the door.

Rio stood there, frozen. She didn't look back. "I do know what it's like... to love. I can't believe... Nakura—he was... he really was all I trusted," she muttered bitterly. "I can't believe I loved him."

Izaya stopped. He was just about to turn the doorknob and head down the staircase when he heard those words. Chuckling, he twirled around. "My, now that was something I wasn't expecting!" She turned around, surprised. She thought he would've ignored her and just leave. He returned her confused expression with a grin that stretched ear to ear.

"What a surprise!" he exclaimed, seemingly pleased. "Was our agreement to be some romantic double suicide? I wonder, how could one fall for someone they've only spoken to online? People lie, set up traps—which you seem to fall for easily. Ah, all those little details... they really make me love humans. Of course, you're still nothing special."

She clenched her fists.

Izaya let out another laugh, before turning around and opening the door. He quickly disappeared from her sight.

She hated how she could still hear his laugh, echoing through the night silence. She hated how he seemed to know everything. She hated how easily he could understand her, figure her out. She hated how confronting him only caused more pain and confusion.

She hated him.

* * *

**Ehhh, old oneshot. And I can't write Izaya to save my life.**

**Also, bad ending is bad. Oneshot done as a fill for a request drrrkink, so I guess I tried to throw in "romance" - ? /shot. OTL**


End file.
